The Crazy Thoughts of Patrick

Shortly after the vice-presidential debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden, SNL released a video mocking the debate. So… here it is.

Although I strive to be viewed as a realist because it seems productivity comes more easily when one is viewed as such, I would still have to describe myself as an idealist. If there is anything this class has taught me about myself as a person, it would be how much idealism I really do possess. While others are sitting in class quietly (or not so quietly) criticizing the concept of the hero journey, all I can think of is “Wow… This is too cool.” My parents, like all too many people living today, seem to have forgotten the idealism of the 1960’s and 70’s. Although I do love them to death, I have come to realize that ever since birth they have been prodding me towards “The American Dream.” To them being succesful is getting a college degree, getting a good job which is still fun and rewarding, and then settling down and raising good kids. Now while doing this is admirable, it is hardly working towards the change we need. Rather, it is perpetuating a level of wealth and material happiness among my family. Now, this is not to say that charity is not emphasized in my family; it is. But, if I were to give up all of my wealth, not get a college education, and go to live with the natives of somoa… Well let’s just say they would not be pleased. Now at this point you - being anyone who is intrepid enough to read past the first three sentences - are probably wonderring how this relates to the question. The answer is simple: while I have always thought that I have dreams it seems that none of them actually fall too far from society’s expectations. When someone asks me what I want to do when I grow up, the wildest answer I can give them is that I want to be a lawyer for the ACLU: a noble cause, sure, but not exactly too audacious. It seems that society’s pressures have shaped me to only dream half-way, if that makes any sense.

Now I have never really understood destiny and what little I know of it comes from reading about three paragraphs on the beliefs of Calvanism. To be perfectly honest, the concept of destiny horrifies me. To believe that I am not in control of anything I do and that every action was predetermined by some manifestation of the universe (God, gods, the Architect from The Matrix, etc.) goes against everything I like to think is true. I want to be in control of my life. Although I am scared of the concept, I guess some parts of it must be true. Why else would we as individuals be given unique skills? I believe that I have a destiny simply because I have a set of skills. I have no idea what that destiny is, but I believe I have one nonetheless.

I believe that if the oracle of the universe offered me an envelope containing my destiny then I would open it. I don’t know why. Curiosity? Probably that would be it, but I would end up opening the envelope regardless. I have no idea what the costs or benefits would be. If it’s my destiny, it’s already going to happen, right? In my minute understanding of destiny I don’t think that knowing would actually change anything at all. All I know is that if given the chance I would try to discover my destiny. It just seems like the best thing to do.

The destiny I was given was that I would spend my life devoted to my art and because of that I would never be rich. Okay… That sounds pretty cool. If my life is devoted to my art then I’ll probably be happy and I’ll probably be doing what I love. So I guess that would be alright with me. The first thing I would do would be to discover what my art is. I was a little bewildered upon reading the card because in all honesty I’m not sure that I’ve actually discovered anything that I’m unusually good at. But I would try to find something I’m good at in probably the same way that I would if I had never found a destiny: get through high school, go to college, take a variety of class and hope that something fit. All-in-all I really wouldn’t do anything differently and I’d end up fulfilling my supposed destiny on accident. After all, it is my destiny.

I would like to start by saying that I really enjoyed creating these mandalas in class. I guess this is surprising to me because I don’t normally consider myself an artsy person, but this was very fun for me. I especially enjoyed the use of the straw to deliver the sand onto paper because I thought that added in a large sense of creativity instead of simply a strict drawing piece or something similar. I most enjoyed this activity probably because it was a great way to start out the day. Zero hour is a bit early, and however much sleep I get, it always seems like at seven in the morning I don’t want to do anything stressing. This activity was perfect. It was light-hearted and enough to aviod making me uncomfortable, yet it still maintained its purpose.

In the analysis of my mandala I decided to start from the very center - representing the inner-most part of my character - and work my way to the outermost ring - representing the world around me as I see it. Here is a picture of my mandala.

Running through the center of my mandala is an amorphous mixture of undefinable color. As neither of these characteristics are symbols in the making of mandalas, I will venture at a guess of my own. To me this area is symbolic of the unexplored, the unknown, the inner-most depths of my person which has yet to manifest itself as part of my character but which one day will. Next is a circle of yellow sand. The mandala symbolism link provided states that circles are symbols of protection. That they enclose something and protect it. Perhaps this could mean that each circular level is protected by another circular level, the next ring of my character. The color yellow stands for the innate intuition and understanding which embodies one layer of my person. After this is a circle of red - a color symbolizing burning emotions and desires. This layer, however, is “protected” by a layer of green - the color of being controlled by society’s values. This could manifest as having a very strong superego which regulates my actions and keeps those emotions from enterring the world. An interesting part to my mandala is the lines which stretch from the center out and manage to slightly penetrate the circle of green control. This blue is the serenity and piece of my character giving me the ability to relax even to resist the control society has imposed upon me. Finally, the mandala is surrounded by a ring of red - representing the Holy Spirit. I find it rather fitting that my mandala - representing me - is surrounded by the Holy Spirit.

This was all-in-all a very fun experience for me. I’m glad we did it.

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.Your
mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.
Check out the things that you can do with it:

First Subject Emergency:
The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find yourself out
of coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112
and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number
for you, and interestingly this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad
is locked. Try it out.

Second Subject: Have you locked your keys in the car?
Does your car have remote keyless entry?
This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock
your keys in the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on
their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your
car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding
it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having
to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can
reach someone who has the other “remote” for your car, you can unlock the doors (or
the trunk).Editor’s Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a
cell phone!”

Third Subject: Hidden Battery power:
Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#
Your cell will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50%
increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell
next time.

And Finally…. Fourth Subject: How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?
To check your Mobile phone’s serial number, key in the following digits on
your phone: “* # 0 6 #”. A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your
handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone get
stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able
to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone
will be totally useless. You probably won’t get your phone back, but at least you
know that whoever stole it can’t use/sell it either. If everybody does this,
there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

Here is a short list of things not to do during a Lord of the Rings movie

1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, “Wait… where the hell is Harry Potter?”

2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” - After the movie, say “Lucas could have done it better.”

3. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: “The Ring.”

4. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.

5. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts.

6. Finish off every one of Elrond’s lines with “Mr. Anderson.”

7. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, “And I did it…. MY way…!”

8. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone’s finger and fall down the stairs.

9. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout “RUN FOREST, RUN!”

10. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: “That’s what I’m Tolkien about!” See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.

11. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.

12. When they go in the paths of the dead, wait for tense moment and shout, “I see dead people!”

P.S. We’ll have to have a Lord of the Rings showing sometime just to do these.

For many years it has been speculated that James Bond is the most hardcore manly man of all manly men. However, I have concluded that it is not James Bond, but another JB who is the king of everything intense: Jack Bauer. Here is why.

James Bond needs Q to give him gadgets so that he can accomplish a mission. Anything is a weapon of mass destruction in Jack Bauers hands.

It takes James Bond until the very end of the movie to figure out the devious plan. Jack Bauer could get off the “Lost” Island in 12 hours.

Shaken, not stirred, will get you cold water with a dash of gin and dry vermouth. The reason you stir it with a special spoon is so not to chip the ice. James is ordering a weak martini and being snooty about it. Jack Daniels is just a watered-down version of Jack Bauer.

It is said that James Bond always sleeps with a gun under his pillow. Jack Bauer doesn’t sleep with a gun under his pillow, he sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

And more to come…